How to Stop Self-Sabotaging

The astrological world has always been a field that has intrigued me, and though it has no real, scientific basis, I believe in its healing power and in the many things it can teach us if we let it. Now that it’s October, I’ve felt especially drawn to it.

I recently got into the habit of reading my horoscope at the beginning of each week; the readings are usually written in a way that is very general, so if I think about it enough, there will always be a situation in my life that I will be able to apply them to.

I thus read my horoscope as a way to set my intentions for the week, which in turn has allowed me to start each week with purpose. I see my weekly horoscopes as ‘guides‘ in a way, providing the themes or situations I should be focusing on as the week progresses.

I have noticed that for the last month or so, my readings have been centering around the theme of self sabotage: how I should control my impulses for sabotaging myself and my opportunities, how I should think things through before I act or speak, and how I should be taking steps to fine-tune my thought processes.

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The interesting thing about self sabotage is that almost – if not all of us – have been guilty of it at some point without realizing it, because self sabotage usually comes from unconscious urges. I do not believe that it comes from a place of self hatred, but rather, from the fear of leaving comfort zones, from low confidence, and ultimately, from the belief that the Universe does not want what is best for us.

Self sabotage is sneaky, and it creeps up in very subtle ways: when I procrastinate, I am self sabotaging. When I overthink situations, I am self sabotaging. In short, any time I do or think something that pushes me farther away from my ideal self or causes me to lose connection with who I am, I am engaging in self sabotage.

Having said that, I believe there are three main pillars that can dictate the ways in which we sabotage ourselves. I have listed them below, along with ways in which they can be corrected. Grab a cup of coffee, relax, and enjoy!


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See Yourself for Who You Are – Easier said than done. The ways in which we sabotage ourselves can have a lot to do with the ways in which we were brought up. For example, someone that was brought up being told that they were “perfect the way they are” or that they “never needed to work hard for anything” or that was given everything they wanted as a child, might sabotage themselves later in life by believing they are above having to work to get to where they want or might even give up at the first sign of failure.

On the other end of the spectrum, if someone was belittled when they were a child, they might sabotage themselves by never putting themselves out there to begin with. Take a long look at yourself and be open and honest when looking at where you stand on this scale. I believe that the first step to minimizing sabotaging behaviors is being comfortable and understanding of oneself.

Become More Aware – As I mentioned above, self sabotage mostly stems from unconscious processes. As modern individuals who are currently on the go, we are usually unaware of the negative habits and thought processes that we fall prey to. We go about our lives reacting to bad situations instead of being proactive towards them. When we react, we are bringing about nasty habits that make us act in ways that we might later regret or put us down.

Try doing one thing a day that will help you feel good (either emotionally or physically) and bring awareness and purpose into it. Then, try carrying that awareness into other aspects of your life and act in ways that will ultimately make you happy.

Learn to Be Uncomfortable – Our egos want to keep us safe; they tend to limit us into a tiny box of habits that won’t surprise us with their outcomes, in which we always know where our feet are going to land.  A lot of times, comfort zones actually make us cling to things that we should actually be pushing past: “smoke that cigarette or drink it out, you deserve it”, or “push him away, the relationship is not going to last anyways”.

When we aim low, we will not be disappointed if things do not go as planned. Comfort makes us attach to these tiny, counterproductive instances because they have worked for us before. Gratification just makes us feel better; basking in the highs we get from the habits that aren’t really healthy but work is easier than just accepting discomfort and being okay with being outside familiar zones. Learn to be at peace with discomfort and practice more adaptive ways to cope with bad times.

Until next time!


hallow

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